I Think My Parent Is Suffering from Memory Loss. What Do I Do First?

I didn’t notice it all at once. It was little things. The same story told twice in one afternoon. A bill that went unpaid when it never had before. A look on their face—confused, almost embarrassed—when they couldn’t find the right word.

At first, I brushed it off. We all forget things, right? But eventually, that quiet feeling in my gut grew louder: Something isn’t right.

If you’re reading this, you may be in that same place—worried, unsure, and scared of what this could mean. Here’s what I wish I had known at the beginning.

First, Take a Breath

When you start to suspect memory loss in a parent, your mind can race straight to worst-case scenarios. Dementia. Alzheimer’s. Losing the person you know.

But memory problems don’t always mean something permanent or progressive. Stress, depression, medications, infections, sleep problems, and vitamin deficiencies can all affect memory—and many of these can be treated.

Before panicking, slow down and pay attention. Notice what’s changing and how often it happens. Write things down if you can. These details matter later.

Have the Conversation — Gently

This part is hard. No one wants to hear that something might be “wrong” with them, especially from their child.

When I finally spoke up, I focused on concern, not correction. “I’ve noticed you seem a little more forgetful lately, and I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

That one sentence opened the door. There may be denial, defensiveness, or even relief. Whatever the reaction, lead with love. This isn’t about proving anything—it’s about staying connected.

Get a Medical Checkup Sooner Than Later

One of the most important early steps is a visit to the doctor. Not to label anything—but to rule things out.

Many memory issues have medical explanations, and doctors can’t see the full picture without input from family. If you can, attend the appointment or send notes ahead of time. 

What feels “small” to you may be important clinically.

If concerns continue, ask about a basic cognitive screening. Early evaluation gives your parent more choices—and gives you clarity.

Quietly Watch for Safety Issues

While you’re figuring things out, start paying attention to everyday safety:

• Are medications being taken correctly?

• Has the parent started taking a new medication or supplement?

• Are bills getting paid?

• Is driving still safe?

• Is cooking becoming risky?

These observations aren’t about taking control—they’re about protecting dignity and well-being.

Don’t Carry This by Yourself

This journey can feel isolating, especially before there’s a diagnosis. Talk to siblings, trusted friends, or a support group. Even saying the words out loud—“I think something’s wrong”—can lift some of the weight.

You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need support.

Take Care of Your Heart, Too

Watching a parent struggle with memory brings a special kind of grief. It’s quiet and complicated. You may feel sadness, frustration, fear, or guilt—sometimes all at once.

Those feelings don’t mean you’re weak. They mean you care.

If You’re Wondering What to Do First

Start with observation. Then conversation. Then medical support. You don’t have to rush—but you don’t have to ignore it either.

If your parent is experiencing memory loss, noticing it and acting with compassion is an act of love. You’re not imagining it. And you’re not alone.

What I Wish I’d Known

I wish I’d known that noticing early wasn’t betrayal—it was love. That asking questions didn’t mean I was taking something away, but protecting what mattered.

I wish I’d known that memory loss doesn’t happen in a straight line, and that good days and bad days can exist side by side. That patience would matter more than having the right words.

Most of all, I wish I’d known that I didn’t have to be strong all the time. That it was okay to grieve the small changes, to ask for help sooner, and to admit when I felt overwhelmed.

If you’re at the beginning of this journey, be gentle with yourself. You’re learning as you go—and that’s enough.

Neuro-Behavioral Clinical Research provides free memory screening for those age 50+ and caregiver support for our patients at our North Canton office. Free, local transportation may be available for appointments. 

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Neuro-Behavioral Clinical Research (NBR) is a nationally recognized leader in CNS research, ranked among the top 10 facilities in the country. Founded by Dr. Shishuka Malhotra, NBR is dedicated to advancing mental health and memory loss treatment through cutting-edge clinical trials.

With over 200 studies conducted, our expert team is committed to breaking the stigma around mental health, raising awareness that early detection can slow memory loss progression, and empowering patients to lead healthier lives. Best of all, our services are completely free—no insurance required.

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